Can You Officiate Your Own Wedding

Legality and Requirements

Officiating your own wedding is possible in some states and situations. The legality depends on the state’s marriage laws and whether those laws allow couples to solemnize their own marriages. Requirements also differ between states. Some states allow self-solemnization with no special permissions or paperwork, while others require couples to obtain a self-solemnization certificate or have a third party sign paperwork.

States Allowing Self-Solemnization

A handful of states allow couples to officiate their own weddings with little to no requirements, including Colorado, Kansas, and Pennsylvania. These states allow self-solemnization but require witnesses to sign the marriage license. Other states like California, Alaska, and Washington allow self-solemnization as well but have additional paperwork requirements.

Obtaining Permits and Licenses

Some states require couples to obtain special paperwork, such as a self-solemnization certificate, in order to officiate their own weddings. This permit allows the couple to act as their own officiant but has certain qualifications and paperwork involved. Couples must still complete their regular marriage license application through the county clerk’s office.

Using a Licensed Officiant

Another option is to have a friend or family member officiate by obtaining online ordination. Sites like American Marriage Ministries and Universal Life Church allow anyone to become ordained quickly. Once ordained, they can complete and sign the marriage paperwork to make the wedding legally binding. This allows the couple to still have a highly personal ceremony.

Customizing the Ceremony

Self-officiating allows complete customization and personalization of the wedding ceremony. Couples have total creative freedom to plan ceremonies however they wish. From vows to readings to symbolic rituals, the couple makes all decisions about their ceremony.

Writing Meaningful Vows

Self-officiating gives couples the ability to express their love through personally written vows. Unlike traditional ceremonies using standard vows, self-written vows reflect each partner’s unique feelings and promises. Couples can choose to keep vows private or share them during the ceremony.

Incorporating Cultural or Spiritual Traditions

Couples from all faiths and cultures can incorporate traditions important to them without limitations. Whether it is stomping the glass at a Jewish wedding or tying a Celtic handfasting cord, honoring heritage is easier when you officiate yourself.

Selecting Readings that Resonate

Readings and poems are another way to infuse symbolism and meaning into the ceremony. Self-officiating means no constraints on content. Couples have total freedom to select readings from any source that have significance to their relationship.

Logistics to Keep in Mind

While self-officiating opens creative possibilities, couples should be mindful of logistics. Careful planning and preparation are key to pulling off a meaningful, legally binding ceremony.

Filing Paperwork

Be sure to complete any required paperwork like marriage licenses, self-solemnization certificates, and intent to marry forms properly and on time. Submit copies to the appropriate county clerk’s office per the state’s laws. Also have witnesses ready to sign paperwork after the ceremony.

Keeping Vows at Hand

Couples who write their own vows should have a copy on hand during the ceremony itself. Whether written on note cards or a phone, having the words accessible prevents forgetting vows in the emotions of the moment.

Recording the Ceremony

Consider having a friend or family member record video or audio of the ceremony. This preserves wedding memories and captures any personalized details. It also provides legal documentation if questions later arise about following proper self-solemnization procedures.

Is Self-Officiating Right for You?

While self-officiating weddings provide more flexibility and personalization for couples, the logistics require some additional effort. Couples who highly value tradition or want less ceremony planning may prefer having an officiant handle legalities. Here are some final pros and cons to weigh when deciding if self-officiating fits your wedding vision:

Pros

• Complete control and personalization of ceremony
• Incorporation of spiritual/cultural traditions important to the couple
• Deeper emotional connection through self-written vows
• Lower cost than hiring an officiant

Cons

• More responsibility to handle legal paperwork
• Potential errors if requirements not properly followed
• Need to arrange for witnesses to sign forms
• No support guiding couples through the ceremony itself